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Monday, January 16, 2012

This weekend was bittersweet  My uncle Rocky passed away and although I know that he's in a better place it's still so hard to say goodbye. I was able to go up to Ogden and be with most all of my family this weekend. I'm lucky to have such wonderful people to lean on during times like this. Rocky didn't want a funeral, so instead we had a big party that was a "Celebration of life." 

My weekend was filled with lots of hugs, tears, and laughter but one moment I particularly loved was before my family left Ogden, after most all of the other family had gone home, we were able to go and visit with my aunt Gretch for a little bit. That woman is my hero. The patience and love that she had with my uncle and his disease was incredible. I'm so glad we were able to laugh, and cry with her a little more as she talked about Rocky. During that time I had my niece Ella asleep in my arms and I couldn't help but think how I want to be as good to her and the rest of my nieces and nephews as Rocky and Gretchan were to me.

It was good to be able to talk about Rocky and all of the memories we shared with him. As a kid I didn't realize how much effort he and my aunt Gretch put into being a big part of our lives. My mom was telling me how he would take his vacation and come down to St. George to tend us so my parents could go on vacation. While talking to everyone I realized how much he did for all of the cousins individually. We all have our own special memories with him but these are a few of my own that I don't want to forget.

All the times that me and Torill would tell you your breath smelled like Max's dog poo, or you smelled like you just got out of a gutter all to try and get you to quit smoking. Then you did stop smoking and you said it was because of us. That's one way to make a four year old girl feel really special.  I also remember Torill and me calling you "Mud" because that was the most insulting, funny name we could think of. You always brought out the silly, giggly side of us. I remember that time you surprised me and came to Lagoon to watch my dance team perform. Or that time you we tried to make cookies but we accidentally used a tablespoon of salt instead of a teaspoon but we still ate them anyways. I used to get so excited for you to come down to St. George, even if I did lock myself in a room once and you had to break the door down. I remember when you and Gretch took me and Torill down to SLC for our birthdays and you let us see where you work and than took us to build a bear and to a fancy Italian restaurant after. I'll never forget all of the hours you spent playing hide and go seek in the dark with all us cousins. You would leave all of the adults and the conversation just so you could show your nieces and nephews a good time. You sure knew how to be the favorite uncle. I wont forget your laugh and sense of humor, in fact I'll strive to have that sense of humor. I remember all of the little walks and hikes you would take us on. I'm sure I was a punk to you as a kid but you sure meant the world to me. 

As your memory faded mine started to fade as well, but I remember that moment at Thanksgiving a year ago, after you'd forgotten who I was, when you remembered that we used to do a lot of fun things together and you told me that. You may not have remembered exactly who we were but you never forgot that we were people you loved.  I remember going to breakfast with you, Gretch and Tal this Summer and for just a minute you laughed at something said and a strong memory of all the laughs we'd shared flooded my memory. Although I lost you this week I regained my memory just as you did, and it's not going anywhere this time. I love you Rock, and you will continue to live in my heart. Happy trails to you my friend.





Untitled from Maddi Frei on Vimeo.

Untitled from Maddi Frei on Vimeo.

2 comments:

  1. i'm so glad you wrote this down, maddi! i loved reading your memories and being able to share the weekend with you. love and miss you already xoxo

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  2. This is lovely & I'm glad you guys went with Hear You Me. It was beautiful!

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